Ivy Tied Up |

I’ve been wanting to sit down and write all weekend. All weekend ideas popped up in my head. Not so much ideas as stories about “life”. Things i’ve been through. Most people would say i’ve been through alot in my 25 years. I think deep down most people have. Although, I’ve met a good deal of people who have had the easy road their entire life. Most of them are still living off of their parents at 30 years old, “working” for their parents company so they don’t have to get a real job and be in the “real” world. I don’t think people experience the real world until they are forced to pay their own bills and support themselves(assuming they are able).

I learned about the real world when I was a teen. I started working at 11 part time. Just 2 hours after school monday through friday and I enjoyed it. I wasn’t forced but I learned alot. At the age of 16 I had my first REAL job. I worked for walmart. Oh what fun that was. I learned what a bitch employers could be. I learned that things do not always go as we want them to and I learned the responsibility of paying my own car note and insurance. I often had to choose between gas money for the week or going out on friday and saturday night. I learned that if I didnt take care of my car. I was stuck with out one. Mom and dad were not going to take care of my responsibility. If I messed up it became theirs.

At 17 (almost 18) I moved out. Against my parents wishes. I moved in with my now dear hubby. As the saying goes. If only I had known back then what I know now. I was still in highschool and working part time. Hubby being a few years older than I am, was working full time, making really good money. It was EASY living like that. We had the world at our finger tips. Very little bills. We were “living large”. It wasnt but 7/8 years ago yet seems so far away..

3 months after graduating highschool I got pregnant. My hopes and dreams changed. I should have listened to my dad and gone straight to college after highschool. But for a very long time I wanted to be free of school. I couldnt see going back to school right after graduating. (of course I know this was a mistake now) Shortly after graduating I found out what the real world was all about. I found out I was pregnant. This was a HUGE shock to my system and my world because I was told 3 -4 months before that I would never have kids.

We made our way through a rough 9/10 months. When I was due my brother passed away. Another sad lesson in life. Upon the birth of my daughter I learned that life isnt always easy. Of course I had learned this time after time before but this time it was different. This time I was responsible for another person.

There was no one else going to take care of me or my daughter. It was my responsibility to see that she had everything she needed. I was thrown into the pond with out a life jacket. No rules, no map, no book telling me what to do. I was responsible and have been since the day she was born.

I watched her and her friends yesterday as we were celebrating her 6th birthday. They were playing, running around in circles, giggling, pretending to be moms, doctors, teachers, beauty queens(yes that too). They were pretending to be little adults. They were having fake conversations on play phones and then I realized. This is what the real world was all about.

No amount of money, bills, responsibility can take that joy away. There is nothing that can give you the happiness that these kids can. They are what my real world is about. All the crap I go through every day goes away when I watch them. For a moment time stops and they are the world around me. They are the only thing that is real. And I am to credit for that.. Its a very beautiful thing.