In the life of Friends..
Posted by ivy | Under Ivy Unleashed Monday Feb 26, 2007I’ve got this friend.. She is the most self absorbed person i’ve ever met.. Not only is she the most self absorbed person i’ve ever met but she is also the most high maintenance person i’ve ever met.. Also the most materialistic person i’ve ever met.. We’ve been friends for years.. Good friends.. We are complete opposites in pretty much every way.. Even though she is those things.. She doesn’t aggravate me nearly as much as other people with those same qualities.. I still love her dearly and she holds an important place in my life.. She is like a sister to me.. We are actually closer than my own sister and I have ever been.. Maybe thats why those qualities do not turn me off completely from her.. ..
Then.. Ive got this other friend.. Who gets me better than anyone else.. For the most part.. We are alot alike.. I think out of all of my friends.. we are the most alike.. yet still pretty different.. I wonder if that makes me the odd ball out? Anyhow.. She is so much more grounded than I am.. Most of the time she knows the right words, what to say and when to say them. Sometimes she keeps me grounded.. Has no problem telling me when im wrong. I believe she is the only one who actually tells me i’m wrong or that there are other ways to look at things.. Thats part of whats so great about her.. She knows many of my faults yet doesnt hold them against me.. She has been there for me through a few rough times and I think she’ll be there through many more.. She has her own faults. so she claims.. . But none that i’ve really seen.. .. She is really hard on herself. Expects alot of herself.. But I dont think thats really a fault as much as it is part of her character.. Its part of who she is..She like me.. has many things we want out of life.. But I think deep down.. we are scared kinda of how to obtain them.. Scared of failure maybe? Of running out of time? Age catching up with us?
Then I have this other friend.. She has the potential to have everything she wants.. She has the ability to have it all.. Yet does nothing but complain about the messes she’s made out of her own life.. She creates mess after mess after mess of her life then doesnt know what to do or how to get out of it.. She disappears from her friends lives for awhile.. Stops calling or coming around then when she is feeling needy cries out about how horrible her life is and how badly she feels about it.. For along time I was very close to her.. But after awhile of the constant on and off drama and how it was only about her all the time.. I stopped feeling badly for her .
Not really sure where i was going with this post.. Just thought I’d share a bit (a very small bit) about 2 very important people in my life and 1 who was very important in my life.. I’m sure i’ll remember my entire point of this post at a later date..
Ever do that? Start a post for some reason then totally forget what the whole thing was about?
I forget where I’m going on a regular basis! But I get there anyway. Story about your friends was interesting. I think I get your point though, you can tolerate and even love all kinds of things in people except those that whine and complain and don’t make an effort and give up on themselves. I think you must be a very good friend though.
It’s all about acceptence and undconditional love. But as someone with low energy issue, I’ve learned how to have boundaries from people who drain me. People with problems don’t bother me (we all have them) but people who can’t look at them and aren’t working on them at all can be a drag overall.
Glad to see you still here and doing well! I’ll catch up a little.
Well…maybe you just needed a reminder of who was in your life and what kind of role they play(ed)?
friends can be so frustrating. i have this friend that moved to texas a couple years ago and while she was here we hardly hung out and when we did, it was her terms and her being the center of attention and her being the one that we talked about, but now that she is across the country i miss her like crazy and she really seems to have changed a bit and actually asks about me now. crazy people. hey, you should look her up haha!!
very thought provoking. i often go off on tangents and forget where i started but actually your post was very coherent and organized around a topic of friendships close ones with same gender and how they cause us to think about ourselves, who we are, how we’ve changed, what we can put up with. it’s always fascinating how we seem to attract the people who reflect things we’re working on with ourselves, whether it’s accepting and liking certain qualities we have, or noticing ways we have changed or outgrown parts of ourselves or the things we still cannot accept in ourselves etc. at least i find that to be true and quite powerful…
Thanks for dropping by my blog yesterday, Ivy. I’ve not seen you in a while and I’ll come back later today and wander through your archives to catch up.
It sounds like your two friends are great for you. They reflect different aspects of you, as perhaps also does the drama-friend, and that can be such a help when coping with what the world throws our way.
I don’t know why you started this post, Ivy, but in the end it was just fine as is.
Very interesting about your friends! They are all so completely different, and I have had friends just like them. It made me think…what kind of friend am I? I should be a better friend to my friends. I think I disappear sometimes like your “disappearing” friend…but I’m always just a phone call away…maybe she is, too?