When people lie…
Posted by ivy | Under Family Crap, Ivy Unleashed Wednesday May 30, 2007It gets ugly.. I don’t think people realize the impact lies can have on someones life. Some one’s future. Or maybe they do. Maybe thats what they want. Such a severe impact that it follows them for the rest of their lives and constantly bites them in the ass..
When people lie to cause someone that much pain I have to believe in Karma.. What goes around will eventually come around. When people lie to get someone in so much trouble that it causes their world to crash and be thrown upside down, I have to believe that person who caused the damage is going to in the end get hers. She has to when she is only trying to hurt people.
Why anyone would want to hurt people this severely is beyond me. But I’ve known her since I was a kid and it is her history. A small part of me doesn’t fault her because a VERY small part of me knows where she is coming from. Hurt them so they can’t hurt you and leave you with nothing. now I did say a VERY small part of me that is.. I don’t believe in lying to better yourself. I don’t believe in lying period. In the end. Lies always come back to haunt you. You have to lie again to save the first lie. Then others get involved and its a never ending circle. And when you hold someones life in your hands like she does.. The price will be high for her lies.
I’m so over all this drama.. I”m told to be supportive yet i’m not allowed to have an opinion or say anything. I’m told to hush and sit back quietly but I have to be supportive too. I dont know if I want to. I dont know if I want to stand up and stand quietly. I don’t know if its worth it. I just want to walk away. I can’t take anymore family drama. It seems to follow me everywhere I go. I dont even have to open my mouth and its there.. Like a lion on its prey. Its waiting on me at every turn. I can’t escape it. Its going to swallow me whole.
My husband is running around trying to dope me up on xanax… Scared im going to flip out.. Honestly.. I’M FINE! I don’t feel anything though. I should be upset and angry. But im not.. Although this person’s lies has my future in her hands and my families future in her hands. I should be raging mad.. But i’m not. She has the ability to destroy my life and i’m not mad.. She wont recant though and tell the truth because then she’ll be arrested and charged with making a false statement to police officers.. So no chance of that.. We’ll end up in court..
This is going to cost us a ton of money. Money we dont have.. So that just adds to hubby’s opinion i need to be doped up on xanax to prevent a freak out.. I am fine.. My nerves are fine.. He says,”you havent spoken two words” no I havent.. not in a few days. I asked him what he wanted me to say.. He said,”talk to me” I said,”what do you want from me” he said to talk to me.. I said ,”i have nothing to say”.. He then continues I need to take something. I really don’t.. I’m fine. Normally i’m a very vengeful person. If someone screws me.. I’ll make sure they don’t ever do it again.. I’ll be out to hurt them and make sure they know exactly who they fucked with.. I don’t feel that right now..
I dont feel anything right now. Maybe that should be scary.. maybe it is a little bit. At least when there is emotion you know something is going on and you wont “blow up” eventually.. maybe thats what he is scared of happening. But right now.. I’m fine.. If eel calm.. I feel fine. I’m not angry and I should be.. i have every right to be.. MY future.. MY KIDS Futures.. Are all on the line right now.. All because one stupid idiot’s lust for revenge against a family member.. She decided not only was she going to drag him down. But she’d drag us down, my inlaws down and the whole entire family.. She is working hard on it too.
So hubby thinks i need xanax to survive this.. Thing is.. I dont need anything. I dont have anything to say because i’m dealing with inner demons. I’m trying to figure out if I want to fight this fight. Yeah I probably seem a bit chicken shit. When the tough gets going.. Ivy runs.. its not like that though. The truth is.. I’ve had all I can take. The drama with this family never ends. And I dont know if i’m willing to do it anymore. If i’m willing to take it on anymore and be the supportive “_______”’s wife.. If i’m willing to sit quietly in my corner and deal with their shit insisting I not have a voice anymore. I wont have a choice.. I wont get to have my voice or opinion heard no matter how loud I speak. It affects me but my opinion isnt noted or even cared about. So why should I fight in this? Why should I stick around and give a damn? WHY am i suppose to care? It’s not my fight. I’m tired of fighting for my right to survive this family.
Is the drama following me? or is it them?? I really dont know!
But I know when someone lies to make themselves better off in the future and hurt those she wishes to squash.. I know it can turn your entire life upside down and the burden is on you to prove you are innocent not her to prove you arent..
I nrecognize the emotions you are going through. Just don’t let them bottle up because if you do then you will do or say something that you might wish you hadn’t. On the other hand… sometimes you have to stand up and get your say out. Don’t let others silence you. Become the mother bear and protect your family. Hugsss
Hey got here from Michele’s site. This is deep stuff! Hope that you’ll continue to remain steadfast to keep a clear mind.
On another note, it’s rather disconcerting to not have scroll bars. Any particular reason for this?
I didnt know the scroll bars were gone. It seems to have been only in MOzzilla firefox that they were gone.. issue is fixed now.. Thanks so much for letting me know!
Yeah, when someone lies about you, the burden is on you to prove that the information is a lie. I hope what she lied about is not important enough that you have to prove yourself. If it is not, I’d just ignore her.
It’s more your husband’s family than it is you, Ivy–but a little Xanax might not be a bad idea… just saying. If you should be mad as Hell, and aren’t, it’s time to worry just a little.
Wow. You have a lot going on there. You were too vague for me to offer anything more than empathy. I know it will pass, one way or another, but that doesn’t necessarily mean it will improve. It might require well reasoned responses to the situation at hand. If kids are involved, extricatiing them and yourself might be the way to go. Do not confuse this with running away.
I’ve often thought Karma is entirely too slow. There should be an instant version.
Michele sent me,
Mike
I so know how/what you’re going through girlfriend…
All I can say, is to be true to yourself, and let the rest go to … Well, lets not worry about that shall we?!
I am also suffering depression, although, mine is as a result of chronic pain. You are in our prayers…
Here from Michele’s today…
Bernie
This sounds like a ghastly situation..! And without knowing what actually has transpired all I can say is, it sounds like you are in some form of ’shock’. To not feel anything…well, it doesn’t sound like it to me. From what you wrote, you are feeling a lot, but it is kind of bottled up inside. So sorry Ivy. I hope that this is something you can extricate yourself from….Good Luck!
From your description, my mind is going wild and thinking horrible things. A little, or a LOT, of xanax wouldn’t be such a bad thing, Ivy. That’s what it’s for…and for people like us who have anxiety disorders.
You have a voice, you have an opinion, you’re part of HIS “family”, like it or not, and they are your children’s family, too - so…at least for yourself, who cares what THEY think and speak your mind? You have every right. I was the quiet, supportive little mouse until I got “drug” into Mark’s family’s dispute, and I put my foot down while they all gasped, and because I was always the “nice, quiet”one, it made a huge impact.
You don’t have to stay quiet and keep it bottled in. Just because you get angry and show it…well, that can be a GOOD thing too, Ivy….keeping it in can be a bad thing sometimes…but I don’t know the situation. I just know…fight for your family if you think it’s worth it….
Much Love!
Faminly descension is the worst kind of argument you can have going on because it can be so absolutely “quiet” and hit you like a lead balloon all at the same time…and, said by a family member ALWAYS hurts more .It won’t hurt to remind our professionals that it’s not OK for the same people in our life to treat us with disrespect just because the rules prevaill despite modern changes to ease things up and become more casual.
Sometimes I’d like to sew buttons on the lips of those women who start out with “Well, how know, you really have to consider times have changed…” To which I say, “Bull Shit!: Times for treating each other with disgnity and respect, for giving adequate notide and return things on time, wil be returned when I ask for them, and with a smile! That’s old fashioned courtesy!.
That’s not right on point with your blog on lies…but it is related to people who lie s it’s related to character. I can’t stand a liar, a cheater, or rude/impolite person. How about you?
Michele
Pet peeves: lack of manners: class’
Hi I’m Steve. I also have a brother who is lying about me. he has been doing that for 12 years now. At first I just sat on it, ignored it, and for 12 years he not only told his own friends lies, then he told my neighbors and store managers in my neighborhood. I was kicked out of a store. Then he told my employers, as a reference. I think there’s a lawsuit here but I cannot find an attorney to help me with it as all lawyers want to win and they can’t see a win with harassment. it turns out that I owe money to my brother. So I called the police who also told me to ignore him but one Captain took an interest. he called my brother to give him a warning. Now he has passed his lies to another sibling who has taken over hiw lies for him. At family picnics, this second brother comes to me to make remarks about his lies to let me know he is telling lies to people at the picnic.
He is telling people that I was in a mental institution and that I had a record of molesting children. These are serious allogations toward me. Again I will asking polic to intervene. The first officer (Captian) didn’t find any record on me of being in a mental institution or any record of me molesting children. I hope a cop will end this. I do not mind my brother being arrested for this shit. After what I have been through - I have been unemployable for 8 long years. Lucky for me my wife has been supporting me. At 56, I don’t expect much more employment. I think my life is washed up. i was working at Microsoft one day, and then suddenly fired for what my brother told about me. if I could get just ONE person to tell the truth of what he told them, I could sue him for everything he has. If not, I will do my best to get him put into jail. I will fight back. After 12 years of this crap, I am fighting back. And, you can take your pills. I do. it’s not a bad thing to take pills for this. it causes a deep depression. I was in that depression for years then my doctor gave me pills for that. After I felt better, I realized that life is short enough that I don’t have to take his bullshit. I can fight back. And I will.
I will start by telling people how mentally ill he is that he needs to tell people lies about me because his life isn’t interesting enough. He’s a f**ing losser. On June 30th 2007 I will be at our family picnic and my cousins, aunts and uncles will hear the truth about me and they should believe it. They have seen this going on themselves for 12 years and for that long, they knew there was something wrong with my brother to keep this crap going so long. I will be telling my relatives to help my brother get to a mental institution himself for his mental illness and his lies.
Steve in Seattle.
Police checked - No record of anything.
All lies are . . . . . lies!