Ivy Tied Up |

Its draining me. I can barely breathe. I can barely think. I can barely function.
If its 100 outside its 110 in this house. I take a shower to cool off, to allow myself time to think. Time to breathe. Time to escape the sweltering heat. I try so hard to wash the sweat, dust, sticky off me that has been glued to me for most of the day. It wont come off. Its like tar. It clings to my skin and wont come off. The point of the shower lost. I get out of the shower. No point in drying off. The towel wont do its job. It can’t do its job. The humidity has consumed everything. Its taken its toll on my surroundings. Five seconds out of the shower and I’m dripping with sweat again. I can feel it beading back up under my chest, behind my knees, on my neck. It wont leave. It sucks the life out of everything. Out of me.

My days go dragging on one by one. Never ending. Fear now consumes me when it comes to going outside. I don’t know whats worse. Going outside and being in the sickly sticky heat and humidity or being inside with its sweltering temps taking their toll on the little window units and fans we are running. Going outside requires getting dressed. For some odd reason they found the need to make it a law about going around nude. I see no point in wearing clothes. The heat and humidity leaves them clinging to your every curve. Sweat pooling at every crevice. Beading on your forehead, your brow, running in your eyes, in your mouth. You can smell the summer heat everywhere you go. On everyone you come into contact with. It takes us all prisoner and does not discriminate. It doesn’t pick and choose its victims. It chooses us all. It takes us all.

I cling to my house like its my life line. Going to the store at odd hours. Dragging the kids out only when its an absolute must only to hear them complain about the heat and how its “killing them”. As if complaining about it will some how ease the heat and suddenly let us all breathe. As if their constant complaints will somehow bring instant relief to us all and cool them off. Because in their minds complaining about it makes it better or at least makes me more miserable than them.

And misery is the key. Its too hot to do anything. Its too hot to move, to clean, to shop, to have sex. Its too hot to do anything. I’d rather spend the day lying in my bed doing nothing underneath the breeze of the fan. But that fans breeze has turned to hot air. Its like having flames hitting your back. Every breeze is like a hot rod branding your skin. Leaving their marks with sticky sweat and the sheets stick to you like glue. Clothing isn’t an option but at the same time its a must. So you wear as little as you can get away with and even then. They cling. They cling to every inch of your body that they cover and sweat pools underneath them so you feel wet and sticky all the time.

I sit here half dressed waiting. Waiting on fall to come, but knowing full well what our fall consists of. We wont get much relief till late October early November. We might even have to wait till December before the leaves start changing and the breezes start blowing. The rain will come and go until then. Barely soaking the ground and releasing nothing more than steam. It might cool us down a few degrees but never enough to mean anything. All that’s left in its aftermath is steam and more humidity. It just adds to the sick sticky we feel all the time. A feeling that can only be described as gross. Gross sums it up well. August is always worse than July.