Hating the addict…
Posted by ivy | Under Ivy Unleashed Monday Nov 12, 2007I’ve been babysitting dh lately. Because he has been so doped up on pills that he cant function like a normal part of society. Last night was extremely bad to the point of where the inlaws walked him home and told me that if i needed to take him to the ER to call them.
My level of disgust is through the roof. I’ve had it. All I can take. He cant walk or talk or function. He slurrs his words and walks sideways. That is when eh can stand up. His level of addiction is getting worse. And I hate him for it.
I can’t fix him. I cant stop his addiction. You can’t help someone who doesnt want help. I’ve tried. I give up. He is going to kill himself on this shit and thats going to be the end of it.. For him anyway just the beginning of the pain for my kids though. Its ridiculous really.
He woke up this morning sober. Of course it was baby this and baby that and i love you and i need you and i’m sorry and i wont do it again. BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA. Geeze where have I heard that before.. lets see.. THe LAST Time he did this??????????? There is always going to be a last time and a next time. Always. He cares more about the pills than his family.
I’m so over it! What does he expect from me? I can’t be caring. No i’m colder than you can imagine. I’m filled with disgust and hate and anger. How can someone let themselves get like that? blech! Its disgusting!
If his doc won’t limit the pills because of addiction….and he won’t go to NA to learn how to handle addiction…there really is no hope. And what a piece of work the inlaws are…walking him home and offering to take him to the ER…Let’s just enable him a little while we’re at it! I really feel for you. I’m familiar with addiction, living with an addict, the whole disgusting trip…He needs to go for counseling and help, You are too intelligent, loving, creative — just too good a person to be treated that way Ivy.
You deserve better. I’m thinking good thoughts for you. Michele
Maybe he’ll sober up for deer hunting season if he won’t do it for his family, Ivy.
I’m so sorry you’re having to go through this, Ivy. But, I agree with what you said in that if he doesn’t want any help, then he’s not going to get it. Unfortunately, my experience with addiction with those around me is that they basically have to hit rock bottom and realize that they’ll lose everything if they don’t help themselves (sometimes it works, sometimes not).