clean abandonment
Posted by ivy | Under Ivy Unleashed Friday Nov 16, 2007Well dh is clean right now.. atleast for the time being. I’d love to say I cared enough to be glad but I don’t. He did this to his family and to himself. He has put us in bad situation after bad situation with his shit and i’m over it. I’m just waiting on “next time” because there will be a next time. There always is..
Right now he is at the ,”baby i need you. I need you to support me, I love you. please dont leave me ” stage.. I wish I could feel bad for him but I dont.. I resent the hell out of him. He has missed more work lately because of it and that takes away from me and my kids. That takes our ability to pay our bills away from us.. That means his addiction was put first. because not only did he miss work he spent money on his addiction.. thats not a good thing and it puts us into a bind..
i’m finished caring..
You have crystal vision. He is selfish as are all addicts. I wish I could tell you there wouldn’t be a next time, but you are likely right about that, too. It’s time to care about you and the children. I wish you lived close enough that we could have a c up of coffee together. I can relate to your situation. It is like history repeating itself. it is soo similar.. You are in my thoughts.
Staying together isn’t always best for the kids and certainly not healthy for the one just staying because of irrational obligatory reasons. Divorce isn’t always a bad thing for children. Most depends on how parents are in front of the children and if it is arguing constantly and tension and strife. It can actually be healthier for the children if you split. In no way am I trying to influence you Ivy; I’m just saying what I have studied lately. A depressed mother can really be detrimental to kids’ self-efficacy and if staying is major role in this, you need to find a way to become happy again. If the father is an addict, that is just horrible. The biggest thing with divorce is to have a good or at least civil relationship with the ex. Also you should make sure that you don’t talk negatively about the other spouse in front of the children. I know that can be hard. You are currently in torment with this situation and you need to find a way to alleviate to stress that it is creating in your life. I truly wish you the best Ivy. I am thinking of you. Look at all your options and talk with someone you can trust and try to get an unbiased view.
Here’s an address that will give you some good advice on how divorce affects children of different ages and ways to make it easier for them. Once again I’m not insinuating that it is the answer I just thing researching the subject will help to put it into perspective. I just want you and your kids to have the best and happiest life that is possible.
http://extension.missouri.edu/xplor/hesguide/humanrel/gh6600.htm
Later, Ash out…