I’m so tired…
Posted by ivy | Under Ivy Unleashed Wednesday Dec 5, 2007So flipping exhausted. I can’t get with it. I feel so bla.. So exhausted all the time. I’m coming down with something too.. A cold.. I can feel it.. I woke up this morning feeling it..
Feeling so run down doesnt do much for my mood.. My moods are taking a toll.. But with all the stress of the last few months its understandable… Right?
I caved. THe stress broke me. Or i’m just weak. I smoked again. I quit Jan 1, 06… Its been almost 2 years and I caved. I can put them down if I want.. I just need to want. I feel like its the best outlet for how I feel.. How sad is that? Then I feel like an ass because i’m hiding it from everyone. I wont smoke around my kids and damn sure not around dh.. The only one who knows is my mom.. I chew gum to keep from smoking.. I crave it constantly. I feel like im slowly going insane. I feel like 2 different people are inside of me.. One who desperately wants change and wants out and wants things that I can’t have.. and another who wants to be content with everything and avoid anything that seems messy or complicated..
Tobacco is a tough habit to break. I hope you’re eventually able to quit, Ivy. Stress seems to move me towards chocolate.
I hear you. Having quit twice. .. the last time in March 05.. I occasionally have one with my friend…then remember that I feel so much better when I don’t smoke. Guess when you have trouble breathing when you’re walking — which I was — it makes a believer out of you.
But I’ve got a number of years on you.
I know the stress is horrendous that you have going on…but you’re smart enough to figure out you’ll deal with it better healthy. Hope you can continue your “quitting”. Michele