20 lbs down..but..
Posted by ivy | Under Ivy Unleashed Tuesday Jan 1, 2008So I’ve lost 20 lbs in a few months. I however busted my ass to lose the 20 lbs. It didn’t come off easily and I doubt it will stay off easily. Point is. I worked my ass off to lose that weight. I ate, exercised and exercised some more. Anyone who has been on meds for bipolar knows how easy it is to gain weight while on them. To lose while on them is hard! Anyhow my point..
Dh has noticed the weight loss.. He has been gaining weight. And while gaining loves to claim that he is just swollen. Sorry that line will only get you so far. You are not swollen you are gaining weight. Admit it already! It drives me bonkers that he will say,”none of my shirts fit anymore” then look at me and say,”I’m so swollen” . He is not swollen. He is gaining weight. So should I look at myself and say,” I’m just swollen”? NO! I’m over weight. I have weight to lose and I’m busting my ass to get rid of it. Its not going to fall off over night nor am I going to just become “un-swollen” like he seems to think he is going to wake up and not be swollen anymore. It infuriates me to no end to hear him DAILY say that he is just so swollen. Maybe it makes him feel better to say he is just swollen.. I dunno..you can’t disguise weight gain with claims of being swollen.. it doesnt work.
Anyhow.. about my weight loss.. Dh has been making comments about my weight loss.. About how this is different and that’s different on my body and how sex is now different.. He says he says these things to make me feel good but it doesnt. It makes me feel like crap. Maybe I’m backwards and should feel good about his comments but I dont. They make me feel worse. Because I still have weight to lose and question what he really thinks. So no matter what he says I’m not going to feel good about it because he said those things before I lost 20 lbs and now he is saying its different. How did he really feel before??????
I would probably agree with you with the way DH is wording the compliments/comments in that it is a little more back-handed than sincere, which is most likely his jealousy at you losing weight while he’s gaining. I don’t know if I’ve ever heard of men “swelling” up like that:)
Congrats on your own loss, though — that’s fantastic!
CONGRATS!!!
You are so right, it is so hard to lose weight on bp meds. I am on seroquel which makes me want chocolate all day long. I just added topamax though, so hopefully it will counter act it and help me lose some much needed weight.
Yeah, it may be the way he gives the compliments that makes it hard to take. Just know that you are one great person and you are doing WONDERFULLY!!
great job at the weight loss! before i got pg i tried so hard to lose weight by exercising, eating better, etc and i think i lost maybe 5 pounds but i couldn’t keep it off at all. 20 pounds is a lot to lose! i ended up losing 20 in the first trimester because i had such a lack of appetite and i completely stopped drinking pop and alcohol (i have pop once in awhile now). i’m afraid that i’ll fall back into my old routine after i have the baby! except that i’ll be breast feeding and will still have to really pay attention to my diet during that time. i’ve only gained back at the most about 8-19 pounds so i’m still down about 10 from where i started.
LOL your DH and his “i’m swollen” line…men can be just as self concious as women, even more so.
oh and i forgot to mention too that in 2006 i was about 125lbs and then i started lexapro and i gained 25lbs in less than 6 months. i think that’s also part of the reason i couldn’t keep any weight off when i’d lose it. even during our honeymoon when we hiked 13 miles i thought that would help me lose some weight and i still ended up gaining weight after my honeymoon.
sorry for the many comments but i keep forgetting the things i wanna say!! LOL!!
ALSO…i understand about feeling worse when your DH “compliments” you. I’m sure he means it to be nice, but at the same time, at least in my case, if you never hear compliments until you lose weight and then suddenly you get compliments it’s like “so if i gain weight back you won’t like how i look anymore?” or “you didn’t like how i was before?” it starts messing with my mind.
Hi..You know, it’s a sad thing really, but many men just don’t have the fine communication skills. The ability to give a compliment is really tricky when you think about it…There is always an implied “you didn’t look/act/treat someone/ etc. so well before” unless it’s delivered just right. So cut DH a break and know that what he means is that he is enjoying the new you and is trying to be supportive of your efforts. It’s just that he is a male untrained in the finer art of communication. Women have a natural tendency to think in circular patterns, i.e., “if I say this what will people think” and then adjust their compliments to be sure they don’t come out sounding like you’re complaining of. Men just kind of think in a linear fashion — from point A too point B and blurt it out. They don’t necessarily think about the ramifications of what they are about to say . I struggled with this type of thing for 23 years of marriage to a male who couldn’t get a compliment right if it had been written by the Queen of England! Now, if he is saying “Boy, you used to be awful.”…That’s a different story! Those kind of compliments need a good knock over the head! ha ha
Anyway, congrats on taking off 20…that doesn’t come easy. I know. I have 10 that has creeped back on and I’m going to be doing some heavy duty walking and watching my diet. And, would you just put a big ice pack on DH to take down that swelling, huh?
ha ha Michele
Be proud of yourself! Your hubby just doesn’t know how to communicate very well. You really can’t take it personally. Losing all that weight is really tough, especially when you’re on med! Way to go, girl.
That’s funny about the “swollen” comment! : )
I know EXACTLY how you feel ….”so what did you *really* think of me before I lost weight?”, and I wondered could I believe him now after I’d lost? Or something like that. But…take the compliments at face value. You probably look like a different person, yet maybe see the same person in the mirror, or feel the same inside?
Feel proud of your hard work! You deserve it! Especially over the holidays! You GO girl! : )