Ivy Tied Up |

I read a blog post the other day where a lady was asking about grandparents vs. babysitters.. Apparently the lady had “over used” her mother as a babysitter and her mom was feeling less like a grandma and more like the full time babysitter.. The issue of grandparents has been on my mind alot lately. Mainly because my parents are not what I think of when I think of grandparents.

I had the worlds best grandparents. They rocked! We were always at my grandparents house. We went on vacations with them and spent many many weekends there. My grandmother always read us stories and we put on plays for them, sang to them, fixed their hair, cooked with them. They were/are what I think of when I think of grandparents and how they should be. My parents are VERY different from that.

I dont know if its their age. They are edging towards the end of their 40s but still I’m not sure I believe age should matter. They rarely spend time with the kids. My oldest is almost 9 and I can count on my fingers how many times my parents have kept my kids or had them over to stay. They have never invited the kids to come stay with them. EVER. My kids have had to beg them to stay and 99.9% of the time the answer has been no. They have kept the kids when they were “forced”. By forced I mean I was in the hospital having one of the kids and there was no other alternative.

I really feel like my kids have missed out on something big when it comes to grandparents. Maybe I have high expectations.. My husbands parents aren’t worth a shit when it comes to the kids and then my parents refuse to give up their free time. I feel like my kids have gotten the short end of the stick. My dad told me one time that they had raised their kids and now its their time. I get that totally. I’ve never asked them to “raise” my kids. Matter of fact I rarely ask my parents to watch the kids. And 9 out of the 10 times i’ve asked they’ve said no. I just feel like my kids are missing out greatly on what SHOULD be a very special relationship with their grandparents.

My parents feel they are still young and deserve their time.. They are still young and they do deserve their time. But these kids are not going to still be little when they are “older” and are ready to give their time. These kids are going to be grown when my parents are ready to give their time and I think they might be resentful of the little time they were given. Maybe I have it all wrong and i’m selfish or something like that.. I just expect grandparents to be grandparents, or expect them to be like my grandparents were.

And another thing that really makes me say HUH is my parents feel like when they are asked to watch my kids that we are asking them to “raise them” or we are throwing a burden on them.. If thats the case.. WTH were they doing to my grandparents when they hauled us over there every weekend?