Ivy Tied Up |

Yes, i’ve come to the conclusion i’m falling into the depths of mania. I don’t know what I want. I”m irritable and easily annoyed. I need peace and quiet yet feel like i’m coming out of my head. Any little noise annoys me.. Things are just not going great..

I havent decided if i’m going to close my blog or not.. But I have decided to stay here for now..  More later

I’m thinking about closing my blog.. More to come later.. maybe

The title fits this post for several reasons. First I rarely say i’m sorry to anyone. Because I rarely find myself in situations where I need to say i’m sorry. I’ve been blogging since 2005 and for the first time ever I left a snarky mean comment on someones blog. I still can’t believe I did that. I could say it was just my mood but what a cop out that would be. I hope this person knows i’m very sorry and that I feel horrible about it. I’m a sarcastic ass most days but rarely just mean and I had no right to hurt that person or say hurtful things to/about her.

My second long road to travel is i’m back on my weight loss path.. Last year I lost 20 lbs and stopped exercising and gained the weight back. I just got lazy!!! Not to mention tired! And my moods kept cycling and well thats an excuse but its one that many of us have had.. right?

So my first goal is to lose that 20 lbs that I gained back. It really really sucks to have to lose that 20 lbs again because I could have been losing another 20 lbs instead of doing it over.. So i’m trying harder this time to stay on plan. I’ve joined weight watchers again and in 3 weeks have lost 7.4 lbs. I’m feeling pretty good about it. Wish it were a lil more but I dont think 7.4 lbs in 3 weeks is horrible.  I’ve been exercising and working my bum off… I’m a scale junkie now. I feel the need to weigh ALL THE TIME. I can’t stop. I’m literally addicted to the scale. I weigh before a bath after a bath before i go pee after i go pee.. Its ridiculous.. I can’t stop.. I weigh every morning. If its up i’m down about it but I work harder that day. I have to lose this weight. I can’t keep it on any longer. I’ve been walking atleast a mile everyday. I was doing 2 before I hurt my knee but now I get through my mile and my knee aches so badly! Today I did 2 miles.. I was proud.. My knee is feeling better than it was but its still weak..

Lately i’ve felt weird. I don’t know how to describe it. I keep having these weird feelings. Like i’m watching myself do stuff but its not me doing it. I don’t know how to describe it. I feel like i’m outside myself. I’m just out of it lately.

This is very scary to think about. If you don’t know what dry drowning is or have never heard of it please read this article. A 10 year old little boy died more than an hour after getting out of the pool. I hadn’t ever heard of it before!

The article says:

According to the Centers for Disease Control, some 3,600 people drowned in 2005, the most recent year for which there are statistics. Some 10 to 15 percent of those deaths was classified as “dry drowning,” which can occur up to 24 hours after a small amount of water gets into the lungs. In children, that can happen during a bath.

Then says:

The three important signs, he said, are difficulty breathing, extreme tiredness and changes in behavior. All are the result of reduced oxygen flow to the brain.

Whats so upsetting/scary about it is that these symptoms are common after a child goes swimming. Very hard to tell the difference. Children are often extremely fatigued after swimming. I know mine are.. This article makes me want to sponge bathe my kids!

Had you heard of this before?