Ivy Tied Up |

The title fits this post for several reasons. First I rarely say i’m sorry to anyone. Because I rarely find myself in situations where I need to say i’m sorry. I’ve been blogging since 2005 and for the first time ever I left a snarky mean comment on someones blog. I still can’t believe I did that. I could say it was just my mood but what a cop out that would be. I hope this person knows i’m very sorry and that I feel horrible about it. I’m a sarcastic ass most days but rarely just mean and I had no right to hurt that person or say hurtful things to/about her.

My second long road to travel is i’m back on my weight loss path.. Last year I lost 20 lbs and stopped exercising and gained the weight back. I just got lazy!!! Not to mention tired! And my moods kept cycling and well thats an excuse but its one that many of us have had.. right?

So my first goal is to lose that 20 lbs that I gained back. It really really sucks to have to lose that 20 lbs again because I could have been losing another 20 lbs instead of doing it over.. So i’m trying harder this time to stay on plan. I’ve joined weight watchers again and in 3 weeks have lost 7.4 lbs. I’m feeling pretty good about it. Wish it were a lil more but I dont think 7.4 lbs in 3 weeks is horrible.  I’ve been exercising and working my bum off… I’m a scale junkie now. I feel the need to weigh ALL THE TIME. I can’t stop. I’m literally addicted to the scale. I weigh before a bath after a bath before i go pee after i go pee.. Its ridiculous.. I can’t stop.. I weigh every morning. If its up i’m down about it but I work harder that day. I have to lose this weight. I can’t keep it on any longer. I’ve been walking atleast a mile everyday. I was doing 2 before I hurt my knee but now I get through my mile and my knee aches so badly! Today I did 2 miles.. I was proud.. My knee is feeling better than it was but its still weak..

Lately i’ve felt weird. I don’t know how to describe it. I keep having these weird feelings. Like i’m watching myself do stuff but its not me doing it. I don’t know how to describe it. I feel like i’m outside myself. I’m just out of it lately.