Staying afloat…
Posted by ivy | Under Bipolar & Mania, Down and out, meds Wednesday Jul 2, 2008Apparently its not that easy to always stay afloat and sometimes we must crash and burn. Thats whats been going on with me recently. As you can tell from my last few blog entries things have been pretty chaotic and I haven’t been really all “there” or thinking “clearly”. I’ve been all over the place.
I think my schedule being disrupted by having the kids out of school really affected me. I tried to create a new schedule and that just threw me even further off. I’d been feeling pretty depressed then would rapidly switch into mania then crash back into oblivion again.
I was pretty close to not knowing which way was up. I just felt desperate to make it all go away and desperate to make the “pain” go away. That should have been a clear sign to me to call the dr and tell him what was going on but did I? No.. No I didnt.. I waited for it to get better on its own and it did thankfully.. Well with meds. I did start taking my meds again. I think that was an important part of getting “better”.
I’d love to say that next time i’ll call the dr when things get like that but when you are like that you just don’t think clearly and going to the dr is the last thing you want to do. I’m sorry to my “blog friends” i’ve neglected recently. I hope you guys are all still around and doing good..
Glad you are still here… it must be a vicious circle… take meds, feel better so you think you are better and you stop taking them, only to realise it was the meds that made you feel that way. Girl… please take your meds all the time. If they help then you should make them a daily routine, no ifs, ands, or buts. Hugging you from wayyyyyyy over here. Huggggggggsssssss
Sorry you’re having to go through all this, Ivy. I wish I had some answers for you or some wise words, but I don’t except to agree with Phoenix to try to take your meds. My ex was bipolar and I could always tell when he would skip even a day with his pills.
No wise words, but a suggestion, if you haven;t already done this. I too forget to take meds and then wonder why things are out of kilter…duh! About two years ago, I broke down and admitted that I had to protect mysself from myself and bought one of those pill ccontainers that will hold pills for night and day for two weeks. I fill it up and keep it where I will see it first thing in the morning and last thing at night. You might have to hide yours and put a note in a place to remind you due to your pill “rustler”. But that way I know if I took them if I don’t remember…which happens… and I make it a habit to do it first thin in the AM and before bed. Don’t know if it will work for you but it has been the answer for me…Sure, it’s a pain in the neck,,,,but it’s my solution to hurting myself. Glad things turned around on their own.
Life’s a bitch sometimes being bipolar. At least summer is about half over and you can soon retur to normal routine. If I were closer I’d offer to take the kids part of the time. Michele